Friday, 17 October 2014
Place writing
Written outside A block on a bench, it was very windy.
Sunlight too bright to see in. Weather-worn benches slouch on the grass in perfect view of the skeletal fortress that is the soon-to-be-new building. Directly opposite it sits the oldest building on campus, the binary opposition of old and new with at least a decade in age difference.
Compare that to the vast emptiness of the field beside them; where the feet of students from years gone by have stepped. Where goals and tries were scored, games won and lost year by year.
And standing on the edge of the field, like a silent guardian of this place, older than any of the buildings; a proud oak tree who's seen both the good and the bad of each year, yet still remains like it always has done. A symbol of time passing and a reminder of the past that is long forgotten.
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Absolutely loved this description of the setting. I wouldn't have thought to put the oak tree in or the decade difference.
ReplyDeleteFor improvement try to get the other senses in: For example - how the wind feels àcross ones face or how the wind was winning in the battle aganst the poor leaves on the trees. What the air smelt like ... had a car just gone by? What about sounds? Was there any birds in the sky? What about the battle cries of the wind as it strikes another leave of a tree? A few tips and examples there and now i feel more critical than actually giving praise but i will say this. An amazing description. :-)